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How To Successfully Initiate The “Where Is This Going” Relationship Talk


Never feel awkward bringing up this conversation again! Having the “What are we?” and “Where is this going?” talk can be quite daunting, especially if you’ve never been the one to initiate it before. However, here are 3 major tips to follow when doing so and you’ll definitely come up with a crystal clear answer regarding your relationship!

Tip #1: Define Your Terms 

Define the conversation on your own terms and then give them the opportunity to negotiate with you; the two of you need to be on the exact same page of where you are in your relationship in order to avoid any confusion. Let them know how much fun you’re having and then slip in that you see potential for this relationship. If you want to be exclusive, let them know that you don’t want to date/sleep with anyone else and you’re hoping that they’re feeling the same way too. If you want something more casual, be sure to specify just how casual you want the relationship to be; some casual daters only date and sleep with each other without the commitments of a relationship and other casual daters are openly dating different people.

Tip #2: Lighten Up

Just because the relationship-defining talk is serious doesn’t mean the tone of the conversation has to be serious! You can let your partner know how much you want to go forward with them in an upbeat and positive manner. Instead of the stoic and infamous, “We need to talk,” make it more of a casual conversation that has serious undertones; trust us, they’ll relax more knowing you’re approaching this subject with a positive attitude. Start the conversation with, “I really love spending time with you! I hope we can do it more and go on bigger and better adventures!” This’ll prep their mind that you’re looking for a future with them. Gauge their response to what you say and go forward with asking them where you are in the relationship. Always assure them that there’s no pressure to define it right now, which leads us to our next point!

Tip #3: Give Them Time

Having the relationship talk is a big step for any couple; sometimes your partner might not be ready to discuss what the relationship means to them, so let them know that you’ll give them time to think about it. Don’t set a time limit, as that will increase the pressure and might scare them away. By allowing them time to think this through, they’ll be better able to give you a well-thought out and more thorough answer. A word of caution: Just don’t wait too long to find out their answer; if you see that they’re not putting in any effort to think this through, then that means they don’t respect or value your time enough.

Relationship Talks

In the end, the relationship talk needs to be talked through and if you don’t find the answer you’re looking for, don’t worry too much about it! It just means that there’s something better coming around the corner for you!

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