If you’re looking to put a serious strain on your relationship, then by all means keep a running tally of your partner’s mistakes! But if that isn’t your end goal (and the guess is it’s not), then stop keeping score of your partner’s mistakes. It’s so important that you learn to deal with the issues as they happen and be willing to truly forgive once they’re over.
If you started dating somebody thinking that they were a perfect person, boy are you in for a dose of reality! Everybody makes mistakes in a relationship, even you, so is it really fair to expect perfection? Give your partner a break on some of the small stuff – guaranteed they cut you some slack just as often.
What’s the Point?
When it comes to keeping score of the mistakes your partner has made in your relationship, you really need to ask yourself one question – what are you hoping to accomplish? You can’t possibly think that by keeping a tally for yourself, or nagging them constantly about these past issues is healthy, so why are you doing it? A list suggests you haven’t actually forgiven them, which signals a massive problem!
Fights are Inevitable
Pretty self-explanatory, but we’ll say it anyway: if you’re keeping secret score of all the moments where your man/lady has messed up then fighting is inevitable. It’s not fair to throw the past in their face whenever you might feel like it, and it’s only going to create hostility in the relationship.
Without trust there can be no successful relationship, so if your partner feels like they can’t be honest with you because of your tendency to hold onto all their mistakes, expect them to start lying. Once lying becomes commonplace in a relationship it’s basically only a matter of time before it all ends.
Are You Guilt Free?
If you can look at the things your partner has done in the past and honestly say you had no part in any of those mistakes, then congratulations! No, seriously. For the rest of us – take some responsibility. You’re not guilt free, so unless that score includes you, it’s probably best to get rid of it altogether.