There’s always risk involved when you decide to get into an exclusive relationship with someone, but for those in the dating world with commitment issues, that risk can feel super overwhelming. Before you walk away from the whole idea completely, figure out why you’re so resistant to the idea and learn how to confront it once and for all!
You’re Afraid of Heartbreak
So, you’ve had your heart broken one too many times and now you’ve written off the whole relationship thing? Well, not every person you date is the same, and not every commitment ends in disappointment. If you go your whole life assuming people are going to let you down or break your heart then you’ll never really get to know anyone (and if that doesn’t sound like a lonely existence we don’t know what does)! Start off slow and let things progress in the relationship naturally – the longer you know someone the easier it is to let them in AND learn to trust them.
You Don’t Want to Get Married
Relationships don’t always end in marriage, no matter what those commitment issues of yours tell you! Believe it or not there are tons of people out there who just want to find a loving partner, and don’t carry any proposal expectations. Be upfront about what you’re looking for (and not looking for) when it comes to the future, and let your partner make her own decisions on whether a relationship with you is the right call!
Losing Your Freedom
People with commitment issues almost always reference “freedom” when talking about why they don’t want to settle down with one person. But what’s lost in random hook ups and awkward walks of shame, are gained in life changing intimacy! Support, love, friendship, inside jokes, soul baring conversations, and regular sex (that doesn’t require drinks and a dinner date beforehand) doesn’t sound half bad, in fact it might even feel sort of freeing.
Too Many “What If’s”
What if there’s someone else out there who’s better for me? What if in a month I want to escape? What if she wants to get married and have kids and buy a house and steal my whole life? Look, asking questions before making a commitment is totally normal and it’s the right thing to do, but sometimes you’ve just got to relax. Playing the “what if” game with yourself always ends with a ton of question marks and never any real answers, because in order to find them you’ve got take chances and follow through. You don’t get the good stuff by avoiding it forever, so put on the big boy pants and jump in already.