How to Fight Fair
When the word “fight” comes to mind, you may be thinking couples shouting obscenities at each other, threats to break up, and a lot of finger pointing. These types of fights will get you nowhere positive in your relationship and will only serve to build up animosity between yourself and your significant other. Fighting fair is the only effective manner that brings you and your significant other closer to solving problems.
Instead of having rage-filled fights, turn your quarrels and squabbles into friendly fights with these tried and true tips:
No name-calling, obscenities, physical harm, and finger-pointing.
Putting down your partner with hurtful words is not effective in fair fighting. Tempers can flare out of control, but you can’t take back the hurtful names you call your partner. Think before you speak and keep the fight civil. Sometimes, this is where problems escalate further than they have to because one partner or both go too far.
Be honest. Clarify and compromise.
There’s no use in sugar-coating your problems. Be open with your feelings and keep the focus on current problems. Your significant other is someone that should respect what you have to say, no matter how hurtful it is, and vice versa.
When you’re honest with your feelings, it becomes easier to resolve the problem when communication in the relationship is crystal clear. Next time when fighting, repeat what your partner says about their feelings to show that you understand and acknowledge what they’ve said.
Once they’re done expressing their feelings and problems, you can contribute by offering a compromise and/or ways to solve your problems.
Do post-fight recaps
Just because the fight is over doesn’t mean it’s really over. Check back with your significant other after you’ve both cooled off and gained back some energy. Even the fairest of fights can be emotionally draining. Re-visit some untouched areas or ask your SO if there are some things they feel like they want to go over again.
Even if they say that they’ve said all they had to during the fight, it shows that you care and are investing in the relationship.
Know when it’s over
Not everyone is meant for each other and that’s okay. You’ve tried these tips, you’ve sought professional help, and you’ve promised to help each other through the problems. However, not all relationships work out. You’re always free to leave especially if the two of you can never seem to resolve your problems.