Dating A Friend’s Ex: The Stickiest of Sticky Situations
Falling in love isn’t an easy situation and it doesn’t make it any easier if the person you’re falling in love with is a friend’s ex! No matter how long they dated or how serious they were, it’s always important to put your friend’s feelings first before you decide on dating a friend’s ex. Follow this step-by-step guide to dating a friend’s ex.
Step 1: Reflect on Your Own Feelings
First things first. Make sure what you’re feeling for your friend’s ex is something more than just lust. If you’re just looking to fool around with them and leave them hanging, it’s not worth it. There’s plenty of other people around for you to date, and dating your friend’s ex just for fun will always come back in the end and may possibly sever your friendship ties.
However, if the call of the heart rings true for the two of you, then that’s great! It takes a while for us and a couple dates and relationships before we find someone we can truly connect with. If you and your friend’s ex are connecting on a level far beyond physical attraction, don’t do anything just yet!
What you need to do next is…
Step 2: Talk To Them
Talk to both the friend and the ex…separately of course! This’ll be awkward enough, but by speaking to your friend’s ex, you make sure you’re both on the same page.
Do your best not to take action with your relationship before clearing it with your friend because that’ll just make you look like an inconsiderate backstabber and you’re trying to minimize the drama, not help escalate it.
Ensure it’s truly truly okay with your friend to date their ex. If they say it’s still a sensitive time for them or they still have lingering feelings for their ex, then back off. Respect your friend’s wishes and they’ll remember this down the road.
Of course, you have to meet your friend halfway and use your common sense too. If they’ve only been broken up a week or two, don’t jump to the conclusion that your friend will be okay with you dating their ex!
If your friend shoots down your proposal, then proceed to…
Step 3: Give Them Time
Just imagine if your friend asked if they could date one of your exes. Especially one whom you shared a special relationship with. That’s definitely going to sting, but chances are, if you give your friend enough time to mull your proposal over and respect their boundaries, they’re more than likely to give you their blessing.
Step 4: Take It Slow
If you’ve made it this far, then great! But don’t go flaunting your new relationship all over social media or in person. On top of that, don’t rush the relationship. Take your time getting to know each other and communication is key.
If there are things that must be addressed, do so before the relationship problems become too complicated to fix.
Step 5: Thank Your Friend
If dating your friend’s ex turned out to be a good thing in the end, whether there was a break up or not, remember to thank your friend for allowing you the chance to be in the relationship. It’s not always easy to see a friend dating your ex, but showing your gratitude only deepens the relationship because it shows that you didn’t take your friend for granted.