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How To Ask If Your Relationship Is Exclusive

By October 15, 2015Uncategorized

One of the toughest parts of dating is this talk. Figuring out if it’s a Ross and Rachel or a Ted Mosby relationship (before the mother) gets increasingly difficult as time goes on. In your early 20s it’s an “oh well” and move on situation. As the twilight years approach it is more of a “please let this work” moment. Here’s how to tell and how to ask.

They Call…A Lot

Besides calling to make basic plans or confirm a message was received, a consistent caller is a good sign of a high-level of interest. Having long conversations on the phone without wanting to hang up after two minutes is a good sign you might be on to something.

Asking About Goals and Future Plans

If conversations are more than basic “getting to know” types and instead about future goals, plans and lifestyle choices it is a good signal the long-term is on their mind. The reason being, if someone isn’t looking to get serious, they are going to do their best to avoid bringing up these topics.

How to Ask

The most obvious solution here is to be straight up but there are ways to beat around the bush while still getting the point across. “Do you want to start seeing each other more often?” may put them on the spot, but to avoid hurt feelings the un-interested will use the excuse of being busy or not knowing what they want.

Another way to ask is to ask to keep some stuff at their place. You can say it is easier or more convenient, and if you are staying over a lot it probably is. They won’t think this is a good idea if they’re having other people over, so if they agree you’re a shoe-in kid!

One final method would be to offer them a key to your place. This literally puts the option in their hands and also, do you really want someone’s key if you aren’t committed to them? This means commitment now matter how you spin it.


The longer you let it linger the longer it may sting if things don’t go exactly as planned, better to get this conversation out of the way than let it hang over you. Put on your adult pants/mom jeans and ask the question that is burning a hole in your head. Be honest!

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