I spend a lot of time with a relative of mine who is in a wheelchair and has very limited abilities to move and watching people look at us gave me the inspiration for this blog. Are most people against the idea of dating a differently-abled person?
Instinctively I know, most people would deny it but I wonder if that is really true. Recently I was talking about my adoration for a certain shorter than average actor whom I adore. You know who I am talking about, handsome guy, Vegan (yay!) loves dragons, hand to the rightful queen of the Iron Throne…? Ok enough about my hero. But logistically, if said man were interested in me, would I be able to actually…er…’get it up’ for him?
The problem is in our wiring and sex, as we all know is about reproduction. So the reason we are attracted to certain physical traits is that our innate sense of who would help us produce smart, healthy children lets us know by arousing us. Overriding that instinct because we love someone deeply, mentally and emotionally but not physically, is a difficult thing to do. While on chat lines talking to local singles have you ever thought to ask about whether people dated or spent time with differently-abled people?
Although (tongue-in-cheek here) looking around the world today, it occurs to me that maybe a lot of people are not having much difficulty in overriding that instinct to breed with the cream of the crop. Maybe there’s a lot of alcohol involved. But that’s not something you can base a relationship on. The challenges of loving someone differently-abled can be small to extreme difficulty and though that might put you off an otherwise wonderful partner, consider the rewards of being the one to bring sunshine into someone’s life. Isn’t life supposed to present challenges that offer great rewards? It certainly isn’t supposed to be a smooth and easy ride to the grave. What’s the point of that?
More often than not I am happy and content, though sometimes a bit tired from the physical efforts I must put in to overcome various obstacles in getting my relative around this world that isn’t very wheelchair friendly. He is always so happy and we have many memories of the things we’ve done together.
Love SHOULD be challenging. It never hearts to open your heart and mind to someone new that has hidden depths and treasure.