You’ve got their phone number. Whoo-hoo! Now what? Here’s how to ace the art of calling a date.
The First Call
In some ways, making the very first phone call is a lot less stressful than making a follow-up call after a date. After all, you’ve been given a clear green light to proceed. You’ve probably spent some time getting to know each other online. And now you are advancing to step two.
It’s the 21st century: either the guy or girl can make the first move regarding offering their digits or dialing said digits. Keep in mind, though, that whoever does the asking for the first date should probably also do the paying. Or at least offer to pay for the first date.
When to Call, Part I
Now is not the time to be shy or to play hard to get. If a prospective date has given you their number call them at the earliest, most appropriate opportunity. Now, I can’t speak for everyone, but unless you know someone’s day-to-day routine, it’s probably prudent not to call before 9 am or after 9 pm.
What to Say?
Start off by letting your new friend know how much you’ve enjoyed getting acquainted online. If you’re the one doing the calling, make sure you’ve got a particular date idea in mind, so after the pleasantries have been exchanged, you can say, “Hey, there’s a great new organic café that’s opened in my area, we should go for a coffee sometime.” Remember, if you’ve already got their number, they are unlikely to turn down your invitation.
Getting the Beep
If you happen to go through to voicemail on your first call, leave a brief message but never ask for a first date unless speaking to a real, live person. It’s just too impersonal.
Don’t blather on; just leave your name and number and ask them to get back to you. Simple.
The Follow-up Call
Hopefully at the end of a successful date, you’ve been able to suss out whether there’s a possible second date on the horizon. With any luck, you’ll have been given a clear indication that a second date would be most welcome. Now, all you need to do is close the deal.
When to Call, Part II
This is one of the biggest issues in dating today. Calling too soon — say, as you’re on your way home from the date — makes you seem desperate and possibly creepy. Calling too long after the date (any longer than three days is remiss) makes it seem like you don’t really care. Ideally, you should call to follow-up and enquire about a second date one or two days after the first.
What to Say?
Gushing endlessly about what a great time you had then hatching plans for next Christmas together are massive turn-offs at this early stage. When making the follow-up call, stick to positive, relevant comments about your first meeting. Then let your date know you would like to do it again sometime.
Call and Call Alike
When engaging in early phone exchanges with a date, a good rule of thumb is to make sure you don’t call them more than they call you. No, this isn’t one of those ridiculous ‘rules’ of dating. It’s just common sense. You don’t want to come across as needy or stalker-ish, so keep the ‘call and call alike’ rule in mind as you’re reaching for the phone.
Leaving Another Message?
Hmmm. Things seemed to go so well on the date. But now you’ve left two messages and still no reply? Don’t write it off completely but don’t call them again either — and certainly don’t ring demanding to know why they haven’t returned your calls. Rather, just play it cool. If they do get back to you, and you’re still interested in seeing them again, it’s your call.