Originally, ‘one-night stand’ was a term used to describe a travelling theatre show appearing in a town for one night only.
Today, the term is synonymous with a sexual encounter that neither party expects to become anything more.
According to a 2005 Durex Sex Survey, 44 per cent of adults worldwide have had a one-night stand. Australians especially seem to love their no-strings affairs, with a massive 60 per cent of Aussies surveyed admitting to a carefree shag… or two.
With numbers like this, odds are you too will experience a one-night stand some time in your sexual life. Chances are you’ve already had one. Or more.
But for the uninitiated or those sensitive types who find the love ‘em and leave ‘em approach difficult to grasp, these tips will help you master the art of the non-committal, guilt-free romp.
Widen your Hunting Ground
Managing a one-nighter is a hell of a lot easier when you’re out of town on business, on holidays or when there is virtually no chance you are ever going to see the other person again. Things become more complicated when you’ve hooked up with a neighbor, roommate, co-worker, friend of a friend etc. Remember: The fewer degrees of separation, the more likely it is that things could get messy. Think before you act, particularly if you’re getting frisky with a boss, friend or (gulp) someone else’s significant other.
Take Aim on your Target
Traditionally, one-night stands involve individuals who have not known each other long and who engage in the bare minimum of getting-to-know-you activities before deciding that a sexual encounter will ensue. But whether you meet your new bed buddy online or in a bar, the first thing to make absolutely clear is that you are both after the same thing — mutual, non-committal sexual gratification.
Playing at Home
There are arguments for and against doing the deed at your place. If you stick to your home turf, you will know the sheets are clean and you won’t have to stumble home in the dark… or worse, early morning light. On the downside, if you’ve got roommates or thin walls you might prefer somewhere more discrete and private, like their place.
“I live in a new block of apartments and the walls are not very soundproofed. I know this because the night after I brought a girl back here — she was a real screamer — I got a note under my door from my neighbors,” says Phil. “Very embarrassing.”
Playing away from your place means there’s no chance of seeing your roommates (only his/hers, but hey, you’ll probably never see them again either). You get to be mysterious and keep your address to yourself. And best of all, you can get up and leave without laying there wondering how the hell you’re going to kick your conquest out of bed and out of the house.
“The sex was great but his sheets were horrible,” says Belinda. “They looked like they hadn’t been washed in weeks — and that he’d been doing quite a bit of… entertaining. While he was in the toilet, I quickly pulled up the comforter, and we did it on top of it instead of the crusty sheets.”
Kick out the Jams
So, you’ve managed to hitch a ride out on Route 69 and are no longer travelling solo. Good for you. Now’s your chance to indulge, explore and let your imagination run wild. No-strings sex means you can let your inhibitions down. You’re not anxious to impress or concerned about what the other person really thinks of you, so you can let go and run wild.
“My advice is to treat your one-night stand as the chance to do something wild and dirty, something you would probably never do with someone you were in a relationship with,” says Amy. “You’re probably never going to see them again, so what do you care if they think you’re a freak?”
A Little Less Conversation…
One-nighters are not the place for deep and meaningful conversations or bonding over shared hobbies and interests. If things are going to plan, the only bonding you’ll be doing will be from the waist down. But it would be virtually impossible to conduct a no-strings fling without communicating on some level. In these instances, less is more.
Three things you should always say:
“Pass the condoms.”
“Pass the lube.”
Three things you do not want to hear:
“I think I love you.”
“Where is this relationship going?”
“Who are you and what are you doing with my wife?”